Conventional wisdom

The pretty girls get more dates and are more popular among boys. It has always been that way and always will be.

What if what makes a girl popular was not at all what you expected? What if it were based a lot more on male psychology than on male sexuality? What if it had to do with sociology more than with sexuality?

Indeed what makes a girl popular in terms of getting asked out (this usually concerns teenagers rather than female adults but this is not always the case) is not what people usually think. In fact women will very often do moves that on the surface are very common sense while they are sadly counterproductive when you look at them in terms of efficiency.

Let us start with the factor which has the most impact on a woman’s social life, male psychology. At the risk of alienating the male segment of our readership let me state one thing. When it comes to sex male is a coward. The first thing on man’s mind when it comes to initiate contact with a sexual target is a defensive concept. In short, the man assesses his likelihood of getting a positive response, in other words, will I get a yes? And if I don’t get a yes, will the turn down be crushing or humiliating?

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Is it surprising to see such a way of thinking from men considering that they are generally expected by society to make the first move? Women who have tried initiating contact and know the uncertainty of the procedure probably see my point a little better.
The irony is this. A man sees a woman to whom he is interested. Upon a more thorough examination he classifies the woman as ‘too beautiful’ and therefore out of his leagues; he then proceeds to go away. The woman, in turn, having sensed that she was under close scrutiny concludes that she should either dress better or be more beautiful while her looks were her very downfall. We often see something like this in various high schools. A beautiful girl who just happens to have big breasts attracts the attention of a boy in her history class. Now, the boy, full of the wisdom of the male teenager knows that having big breasts is a sure sign of a vast sexual experience at best and a sign of a sex goddess who has tried every page of the Kama-Sutra. Upon realizing this the boy obviously crawls away while the girl embarks on yet another diet to make her social life what it should be.

A good way to summarize it is that an efficient girl conveys the concept that she will say yes or will say no in such a way that the male will go home with his ego intact. A great beauty is often counterproductive if you understand that males love to look at beautiful woman but will often be intimidated by them. For a very sexually confident male target (which so happens to be a bad deal in long term relationship, but that is an entirely different subject), great beauty is a good asset but for a more conventional target that same beauty could be toned down for efficiency’s sake. Is it manipulative? It is not for me to judge. This is simply what can be observed by hidden cameras helped by ulterior questioning in order to assess what was on people’s mind at the time of observation.

What to make of it

Men like sure things and who can blame them. It is fascinating that woman spend so much time on being attractive and so little time on trying to give a feeling of accessibility. If they took in consideration man’s cowardness they would be that much more efficient.